There’s no “I” in “We” but sometimes there should be.

Romantic relationships end for a sh*t load of reasons.

“It wasn’t the right time. We grew apart. I wasn’t ready for a relationship. It moved too fast. She cheated. He cheated. They didn’t care. I didn’t care.”

You get the point.

One reason I’ve recently discovered, and I feel that is overtaking my generation, is not being able to have sense of self identity outside of a romantic partner. It’s trending now to want attention every waking second. There’s even a whole meme genre dedicated to it (that’s when you know it’s real in 2018). People get into relationships expecting their partner to prioritize them above everything, including their prior love interests. I don’t mean romantic interest. I mean life interests. Music, dancing, singing, writing, reading, working out, hiking, etc. The things that people need to stay sane. Their personal and emotional outlets. Someone comes into their lives and says “It’s me above _________.” While yes, your partner should want to swim across oceans to save you, they still need their own life jacket. Some people need different interests as outlets to clear their mind and contribute to their self identity. For example, in 6LACK’s recent album, he has a song called “Disconnect” and theres a line where he says this girl wanted him to place her above music. Music is his life and his career. While he should love girl, why would he throw away his self identity just because she lacks her own?

That’s the problem. The people demanding this amount of attention only demand it because they lack their own sense of self. Being in a relationship should not mean dropping everything and merging into one blob of a person. It means that you should both bring your own love to the table. Love for music, love for animals, love for work. Whatever you love. It’s okay if you don’t have some huge interest in life either, everyone is different in that aspect. You can have your time to bond and grow together but you need your own sense of self identity. Without that, what’s the point?

 

Feel free to leave thoughts, comments, or questions!!

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